Tired
by Megan C

Jackie was tired.

She was not only physically tired, but emotionally as well. She hadn’t slept in almost a week, and she was tired of playing Ryan’s games. These twisted fights that tore at Jackie. The yelling and the screaming. The fists and the fury.

She was tired of waiting, of crying, remembering everything, while he forgot it all. She knew he cared once, but that was long ago, and fleeting memories weren’t enough to ease the pain.

This was not the life she was promised when they were kids. This was not the boy she met back then. This was not the boy she fell in love with.

A lone light bulb, swung from its cord in the ceiling, its flickering light a better representation of her heart than anything else. Jackie was tired. Her head in her hands and he heart on the floor, she gathered her things. The things she’d need to survive, but after years with Ryan, it wouldn’t take much.

As she laid on the tattered couch in their living room, a disgruntled spring stabbing her in the back, she thought about when it first started. Ryan pushing her. Ryan shoving her. Ryan yelling. Ryan screaming. Jackie just took it all.

It didn’t used to be this way, He used to care. Jackie, was tired of playing games.

With an exhausted yawn, Jackie heaved herself up off the ancient piece of furniture, wrinkling her nose at the smell of dust that filled the room. She sighed, and looked out the dirty window, seeing Ryan, covered in dirt and grime as he worked on their rusty car. This was not the life she was meant to live.

Jackie was tired, and she hadn’t slept in almost a week.

Jackie was tired of being second best in a winner less race. Jackie was tired of the girls that Ryan would bring home. These girls with smaller IQ’s than bust sizes. Jackie was tired of Ryan’s ever-constant act. Always playing Jackie out to be the unaware fool. Jackie was tired of the lies. And the fights. And the lies that led to the fights.

Those few times she had tried to leave before, never ended well. After the rage and the screaming, Ryan grew quiet and spoke softly to her, broken voice and tears in his eyes. “Don’t leave me.” He’d whisper. And Jackie would be reminded of how he used to be, that small scared boy from her childhood. She’d nod softly with a sigh, putting her bags down and wrapping her arms around him, knowing it would only be so long before the fights started up again.

Sometimes, which meant most times, when she and Ryan fought, Jackie thought about what her life would be like if she left Ryan. Would it be any better? She’d laugh bitterly to herself. It couldn’t get much worse. No one to love, and no one to blame but herself.

As she finished packing her things, taking those few things that meant something to her, the things they used to love, Jackie dragged her frayed suitcase to the door, glancing around the house that held her misery for so many years, and she turned back around. She pushed the squeaky screen door open, stepping outside and listing for the loud screech and crash of the door, simply out of habit. She walked past Ryan, not stopping when he questioned her. She didn’t stop when she heard the footsteps behind her.

When she did turn, it was only because he had turned her body towards him.

“What are you doing?” Ryan asked, more desperation in his voice than Jackie had ever remembered it having.

“Goodbye Ryan.” She said, a sigh in her voice matching the utter exhaustion she felt.

Jackie was tired of Ryan.

 

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Short Story:
The main idea behind my story was the concept of people that become stuck in abusive/unhappy relationships, and find themselves unable to leave due to a variety of reasons. I chose to write about his topic because I feel that people don't talk about unhappy topics like this one often enough.

Movie:
The reason so much of my movie was text is I really wanted people to think about the words rather than just look at the pictures, I wanted people to try to imagine their lives being like the ones I mentioned in my story.

Photo Narrative:
I chose to shoot my photos in this way because I liked the idea of a dark house, things all over the place, people yelling and then eventually leaving, I think that they matched pretty well with my story. The reason that the colors in the photos are kind of dark and blueish is because I wanted to try to convey a sense of sadness and dreariness.