Personal Essay
This is my personal essay. In this piece, I discuss about my experience with my 8 year cousin, Erion, being diagnosed with brain cancer and the process of me attempting to help him. Through this experience, I was able to grow as a person and I wanted to recognize this, especially highlight it to my future potential colleges.
A catastrophic illness can bring out hidden strengths in an individual. In October 2017, my cousin was diagnosed with a rare brain tumor known as Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma (DPIG.) The cancer inhibits the ability of the body to breathe and interferes with the nerves and muscles to function. When first hearing about the disease, I was unaware of how to respond. Here was my younger cousin, whose laughter would constantly fill the room with joy, battling an inoperable brain tumor.
In the midst of trying to understand my cousin’s illness and the time he had left, I did what I could to immerse myself in research to understand available treatments and hospitals that were in support of his treatment, and how to improve his well-being. Yet, I found myself growing anxious as time and his health were slipping away. When I went to visit the family for an annual Thanksgiving trip to New York with my father, it was the first realization I had of how much the brain cancer had impacted him. His body had physically changed from the chemo and the steroids. What was also very visible to me was how his personality had shifted from being very joyful, vocal and assertive to an introverted, submissive, and confined individual.
For me, this was a turning point. I knew I had to stay strong for him while not becoming overwhelmed by the situation.
Upon returning to California, I started taking the initiative to simplify and add stability to my life. I was able to accomplish this by organizing things in a more efficient way that allowed me to save energy and time for each challenge I approached. I also took charge over my family by creating awareness among everyone about the importance of their participation in DPIG research and, more importantly, helping my cousin through this time. I would design certain jobs for everyone to do such as look into specific programs or take my cousin to his favorite arcade. I discovered that it was the little things that I could initiate that could make a difference on his journey. I knew that with the Montenegrin/Islamic culture I come from, my family would be in the state of mind where their only choice would be to pray and ask for help from others. While that may be helpful for them, I found myself with the need to create change right away.
Throughout those exhausting months, I felt like I was in the worst state of my life. When my cousin’s health was failing and I couldn’t do anything from afar, I felt useless and devastated. To combat this[a], I knew I needed to take responsibility, persevere and stay open-minded. Consequently, I became more skillful at managing things that were within my control, focusing on what I could achieve while not letting the traditions of my family guide the outcome on handling the situation.
On May 9, 2018, I received a phone call from my father, his voice trembling to pronounce the words that my cousin had passed. At first, my mind wasn’t registering what I had heard until I continued to hear the cries that came over the phone – the sound of a man who in everyone’s eyes was always a strong Slavic man. This time, however, he was as vulnerable as a five year-old. I needed to grieve and help the family, but I had to put in place the plan I made for myself, drawing on my core strengths. Throughout the whole experience, I gained the power to stay focused, build the resilience to push through my exams, and return to New York in the following weeks to grieve and support my family.
By taking responsibility, persevering and staying open-minded, I have learned an invaluable lesson through a tragic situation.
