“Who am I?”
That was the question we had to think about while working on this unit. In English, this question was integrated into writing our college admissions essays. In Digital Media, this question was reflected into our personal Mandalas. In Film, this question was answered on our Reflections video. In English, I chose to write about my competitiveness. More specifically, how my competitiveness was in my way of ever being truly happy with myself. In Film, I chose to tell the story about my first encounter with anxiety, and what I’ve learned since then. The work done in this unit is the most personal work I’ve ever done. Up until this point, I’ve always tried to keep myself distanced from my work. I would never get personal because i was afraid of what people would say or think about me. But now I don’t care anymore.
We had to create a list of 20 things that represent us. It was an exercise related to the essential question “Who am I?” I guess in trying to find objects that represent you, you end up learning more about yourself in the process.
- My Red Star Soccer jerseys, past and present
- Three rings, one gold, two silver
- Black Bodin jacket, lined with green silk
- Blue Cole Haan glasses, perpetually smudged
- A red box of loose leaf Twinings English Breakfast Tea
- Extensive collection of Laurel Burch cat socks
- A green box, overflowing with stickers, pins, postcards, and patches
- My Magritte book, from Brisdell.
- My Croton Petra, the first plant I’ve kept alive for more than a week
- Jar of PG Tips tea bags
- My dad’s old copy of Animal Farm, which made me interested in reading again
- My iPhone, unfortunately…
- 3-eye Doc Martens
- Black Pentel Arts Pocket Brush Pen
- Yellow Strathmore Mixed-Media 5×8 sketchbook
- Burton Feather 2016 snowboard
- Wooden box, filled with photos and memories from the past
- Black Nike Hypervenom cleats, held together by duct tape
- An empty agenda/planner. I have horrible organization
- MarioKart from 2008. I could never beat my sister on Rainbow Road.
Personal Museum Curation
The purpose of the Mandala project was to use the core values in art. I chose to focus on “Self Reflection” because of my tendency to hate everything I create. After finishing a project, instead of feeling joy from finishing it, i begin immediately criticizing it. It’s a flawed character trait of mine that has made me hate drawing and creating art, one of the only things I know how to do. This process is toxic and draining, yet I can’t stop myself from doing it.
So, in a way to combat my tendency to hate everything I create, I made this mandala. And instead on trying to make it look good, I focused on having fun. I drew the lines that looked cool, not the ones that looked the best. And I had fun! Although the more I look at it, the criticizing voice in the back of my head gets louder and louder.
Black and White Mandala
This is my Color Mandala! Or more specifically, this is my second Color Mandala. The first one disappeared off the face of the Earth without a trace. I spent hours looking through folders looking for the Adobe Illustrator folder, but to my dismay, the file was gone. So, I created this one. It’s very similar to the first one, but with less detail due to the extremely short time frame of 3 hours before the assignment was due.
This was my first assignment in Film class ever! It’s also one of the most personal things I’ve ever created. The purpose of the Reflections Video was to reflect on an aspect of your life, and talk about it. I chose to write mine about intrusive thoughts and anxiety. I was officially diagnosed with OCD when I was in middle school, however my experiences with it date much further back than that. I chose to write about the first time I ever had a panic attack, and what I’ve learned since that moment.
I’ve never told people about this expect for close family and friends, so this process was extra scary. It required being honest and forcing myself to open up towards others, which is a thing I never been able to do until now. I mean, I’m writing about it on my official website. If this isn’t being open I don’t know what is.