New Eyes
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.- Marcel Proust.
On the wall of one of the many classrooms in the hallways in my past, I was once lucky enough to espy this quote. I like it because it manages to get its message across without making someone worry about the state of their soul, as the guilt tripping homilies can. For there are many sayings equaling the same thing through the different cultures, like don’t judge a book by its cover. Pocahontas says it best in the last line of the song colors of the wind. “You can own the earth and still all you’ll own is earth until you can paint with all the colors of the wind.” All this information is about finding new points of view, the search for which has been one of the main delights of my existence. Life only starts to get interesting when someone thinks about something in a new way or discovers a new angle to an issue that totally changes a way of thinking or a point of view. Perspective or having new eyes makes one think about ones existence and how it could possibly be different. It changes one from a passive to an active participant in ones own life. It lets one know that one’s way of life and choices are not the only ones. And most of all, at least for me it lets one know that one is not all alone.
I am socially retarded, living with a condition called Asperger’s syndrome. It tends to cut me off from most other people my age. Lacking basic social skills, I spent much of elementary and middle school by myself. Because I was alone throughout large portions of elementary life, I was desperately, terribly, lonely. Lacking the ability to reach out and connect in that essential way, I discovered books.
Books are a window into the mind heart and soul of another life. They rang true with the human voices and words I needed so desperately. The also possessed none of the complications of interaction with others that are so perilous to my poor social system. The books became the friends and companions I could not make with my peers. What’s more they became my new eyes, replacing my socially blind ones. They were a secret advantage for someone left behind by the world at large. These new eyes helped me see and navigate my world a little better and what’s more they offered me a place to go to when things in my life just couldn’t work out right. These eyes were an escape for me from the gloomy world around me to places of splendor and glory and they went with me anywhere I wanted to go. Most of all these eyes and the voices that accompanied them let me know that in the whole world, I was not and would never be alone. Even though I did not know what I was or why I was so different from everyone else even the people in the books, they were the only comfort I had. So I continued to search between their pages, looking for the answers that would fill the gaps in my life and make the questions that I knew not how to ask a thing I could put behind me forever.

interview questions

What influence did books have on your childhood development?

My use of Books made all the other kids think I was a weirdo or really smart. They expanded my mind and helped me feel less lonely.

Did you have any friends at all?

Yes I had various friendships through out the years but they didn’t last as long as everyone else’s did and I got along with less people then most people do.

Do you actually sing Pocahontas in your recorded essay?

Yes. And it sounds horrible

What were the questions that haunted you?

Mostly why was I different from everyone else? What was wrong with me things like that and what can I do to make my life better?

What were your favorites books in elementary school?

Bruce Colville’s my teacher is an alien series and doctor Doolittle (I loved the movie)

 

 

 

 

main frame illustration