Lyrical Essay
Following our reading and discussion of Claudia Rankine’s Citizen, we were tasked to interview a person with a defining feature different from us and create a lyrical essay. A lyrical essay is a piece of writing that balances essay/ narrative writing and poetic writing. I interviewed my mother about her life as a single mother.
Interview Transcript
- Do you have any stories in which you have felt discriminated against?
One time, when Sierra was a baby. I finished my masters degree in special education and had a job interview in southwest missouri, which is a very conservative part of the state. Definitely part of the bible belt. And I had some close colleagues tell me; that going to work in that part of the state as a single mom could carry with it many repercussions. In that time in MO, you could have your teaching license taken away for having a child out of wedlock.
- What were the major challenges, socially, in being a single mother?
Dating. Going out socially requires an additional task of finding someone to take care of your child. There’s a fair amount of guilt when you go out and have a good time, knowing that your children are at home and you’re not. I also think being single, married couples aren’t in the same place hanging out with you and now being in a committed relationship, where he spends weekends with his kids across the country, I wouldn’t necessarily want to go out with single friends either, because often times they are out to meet people, don’t know socially where to fit in.
- Beyond the simple definition, what is a single mother? What goes into this
Embracing balance. Balance guidance, discipline, trust at the same time knowing your children are in a situation where they need to be more responsible earlier than some kids coming from a traditional family arrangement. Finding a balance between setting boundaries and allowing freedoms; being able to do that effectively, is how to be a good single mom.
- What were the largest struggles in being a single mother?
The biggest struggle early on was finances, Sierra and I lived in a one bedroom apartment and she had a toddler bed next to my bed and I worked 2 jobs and thankfully I was an educator so colleagues kept her when i worked y second job so she was always around people committed to her learning and growing as opposed to maybe just having a teenager babysit, and in this setting I felt lucky. There are also some benefits, those decisions that might otherwise require compromise don’t, i got to pick her name and didn’t need to discuss with anyone else. I made some key decisions that I felt were in her best interest, 2 sides to sharing decisions.
- What people acted as support? Self reliance.
It was hard to let people in at first, but you quickly learn that you need help. My parents forced their help but it was a blessing. They said in the beginning, I had to move back to the area to help when she was a baby. My sister was a support oto she had a baby right about the sam time. It made it fun and have a comparison between sierra and lauren, she was a support.
- What are some judgements you have felt placed on yourself? Has your self image ever been challenged by what others say or think about you?
I did not place any judgement on myself, i made the commitment to be a single mom and being divorced, sometimes i reflect on if that was in the best interest of both of you. I hope that i put you in a position where you can be all you want to be.
- How have microaggressions been used against you?
Snide comments from family members about being single and getting divorced and suggesting it would damage you and your sister. All 3 of the elders married for 40, 50, 60, 70 years- they jsut dontunderstand divorce. Judgement placed on me for not sticking it out on a marriage.
- Can you recall a time in which you felt hypervisible to the world around you?
When sierra was a newborn and linda invited me to happy hour and i didnt have a sitter, so linda suggested they sit at a table and bring the baby. And i think i felt like people were staring like why do you have a baby in the bar? When she was an infant, with sierra i had no one else but w you i have your dad, attended a lecture on domestic violence and brought sierra, brought a sick sierra to teacher ed program because she was told if she didn’t attend she wouldn’t meet the criteria for her profession license so she brought her and she puked red gatorade in the trashcan in the middle of the cafeteria and frankly i celebrated.
- How is your relationship with Sierra different (better?) do you think than if you had a more conventional family roles?
Because i was w sierra alone for a long time, I didn’t see her upbringing as anything I shared. Good bad and ugly all on me, i made the heavy decisions.
- What do you feel is all american family?
I think that schools or organizations need to move away from saying parent night or invite your parents and change to invite your family. That perception that all kids live with parents is a microaggression. We make these grand assumptions about family, but if you look realistically at like kids who come here undocumented who come iwht out parents who might live wiht an aunt or uncle they have never met who may not be equiped to raise of a child. The definition is much broader than people recognize. When we keep the perception of family close to mom and dad, we limit the opportunities for the kids to have support and be loved.
- What do you feel makes a strong woman?
Balance- being able to stand on your own 2 feet yet being able to ask for help when you need it. Being a role model. I want to be identified by who I am and not by traditional definitions.
Honors: Lyrical Essayist Study
In honors English, we read a collection of lyrical essays. I chose The Argonauts. During the reading we were asked to write summaries and dialectical journals to further study what we were reading. In the end, we had to produce 2 final products. A poem emulating the style of the author, and an explanation of that emulation. Both of my products will be below.
