Reflection

When I was younger I would always notice people sitting out in front of the Safeway that my family went to for groceries. Every time, they just sat there with what to me at the time looked like trash and garbage which I later I discovered were all their belongings. I didn’t understand why people would sometimes give them money. All they did was sit there with a cup for cash. I asked my parents why they looked the way they did and why they were always there. My parents explained that they are homeless, a concept that was very unfamiliar to me at the time. My parents further explained that they were just lazy people who didn’t want to work which is why they are homeless. When hearing this explanation, I could hear the disgust in their tone, like these people didn’t really matter. As a 6 year old I made an effort to give any change I would have to these people, but this slowly ended soon after as a child’s attention span isn’t too great. Despite this, having the thought that these people weren’t worthless or any less than I am as a 6 year old child is was ultimately initiated this project although I didn’t realize it until another project at Freestyle.

This other project was the Diptych project for my design class which paralleled the English unit at the time which explored the premise of being black in America, not having a voice to express an issue. We were assigned to select an issue by interviewing someone with an experience that isn’t familiar to us. I chose interview a friend on her sexuality and the issues that she would face. The outstanding message from her was that she was struggling to be heard, to be considered and regarded for her thoughts and feelings of having a certain sexualtiy. For the design aspect I was tasked to photograph things that could represent that disregardment. I struggled at first, not knowing what to photograph. Then, I came across a person who was bundled up in a sleeping bag, sleeping on hard concrete next to a small shop. I took notice of how people didn’t even bother to look down, to acknowledge that this person was laying there. It was at this moment that I knew that I wanted to do something related to the homeless, a project dedicated to acknowledge those forgotten faces.

I learned many things from the research process during this project. I learned the statistics of the issue in the Bay area. Like the average amount of people that are homeless both in San Francisco County and Santa Clara County, both being over 7,000 people, those only being the one accounted more. Which means there could be hundreds more than we think. There’s this belief that homelessness is a choice which is not true in the majority of cases. Especially the past few years where rent skyrocketed causing many people to lose their homes. There was also the aspect of mental health I learned about. There’s a psychological effect that people experience when being homelessness which makes people less motivated to get back on their feet. As one of subjects state being homeless “really condemns you in your soul, this feeling sits there and ferments making you feel like the world has turn its back on you.” Which is why people usually turn to a substance to abuse like drugs and alcohol. It’s also because of this psychological condition that some individuals don’t want to be helped which was interesting to learn.  Doing this research helped me further understand people when talking to them and to be humble with them. I always tried to make myself equal with them by doing small things, always being polite standing up if they’re standing, sitting down if they’re sitting down, things like that.

I didn’t collaborate very much during this project simply because there wasn’t much work that needed more than person besides myself, especially when going to out to shoot photos and interviews. This was mainly a one-person job. However, when I painting the digital portraits, I asked classmates to look at them to see if anything could be improved. Most of the time this peer review consisted of them saying things like “wow, it looks really good,” but there was the occasional, “I think you could some color here” which did help me quite a bit when I hit a plateau in the painting process.

There are some things that I would definitely do differently if I were to do this project over again. The main thing being my preparation when going to out to shoot portraits and interviews in terms of the equipment I was carrying. Mentally, I was fully prepared to talk and interact with homeless individuals, confident that I would be safe and be friendly with all who I came across and asked questions to. This assurance in myself was great, but what I fell short on, was one small object. An extra battery. My forgetting of an extra battery cost me what could have been an extremely interesting profile of an extraordinary man who is a psychedelic artist in San Francisco. When I met him I knew immediately that I wanted him as a subject for the profiles. However, at that very moment of meeting him, I heard the shutter of my camera click shut. I looked down to see the “charge battery pack” message appear on the LED screen, the battery drained from the previous 3 hours of shooting and filming. I tried relentlessly to find Gary again, taking multiple train rides up to San Francisco during the week and weekends over the span of several weeks. I kept finding his art, but couldn’t find the man behind them which made me feel kind of bad. Honestly, forgetting to bring an extra battery was such a rookie mistake, I kind of feel like I deserved it.

The one 21st C. skill that stands out the most, and the most obvious one would be social & Civic responsibility. If memory serves, I’ve never really done a project that promotes an issue for the rest of society to think about which I feel like I’ve done with this project. It’s really gratifying to see how my project can make people feel about an issue through a creative medium. Although it may not be a huge one, to me it’s a victory for those displaced individuals who don’t really have a platform to express their stories, their lives.

The main thing that I’m going to take with me into the future, isn’t knowing what brushes to use in photoshop or how to paint hair, but rather the stories of these people. It was extremely humbling and I felt honored to have these people share their lives with me, telling me about their favorite memories, explaining their passions, who they were and are. It was all a little surreal and definitely put things into perspective for me. I realized how privileged I am, not in terms of having money and wealth, but just having a roof over my head, a warm bed to sleep in. It’s this that I won’t ever forget.

Through doing this final project, I definitely feel like I’ve honed my skills in photoshop and got experience something new which came through meeting people of many backgrounds. The whole digital painting was previous unknown to me which made it the project all the more satisfying to complete. I really feel like I succeeded in showing what I was intending to show.

Mainly I would say to try your best not to look down on someone, because it only takes one thing, one thing to change the course of your life and you could very well fall into the position of that person your looking down on. Also, contrary to belief the majority of the homeless are in fact very friendly and polite. Be cautious of course, but don’t be afraid to initiate conversation with a individual who is homeless. They’re human beings too, and who knows, that conversation can change their life or even yours.