Narrative Visual Perspective in English

Listener Lyric 

In English, we read a book called “Citizen”, and then had to create a piece similar to this. “Citizen” by Claudia Rankine is a more poetic type of format and explores issues in society around racism in a very powerful way. We had to choose a person to interview about a profound story and turn this into our own lyrical essay.

 

Lyrical Essay by Kate Ahrens

Buzzing. Constant buzzing, like a whole beehive has taken home in your brain. It’s exhausting. It’s a burden. The noise feels like a weight that drags you down the whole day. No one else hears it but you. Why is everything so complex? Nothing’s ever straightforward anymore. 

There’s a lot of days it’s so loud that you don’t even want to get up. Trying to get your head off the pillow and your feet off the ground shouldn’t be so hard. You often sleep in or stay at home. Sometimes you just can’t quite start the day.

One day you muster the strength. It feels like lifting three times your body weight. 

You’re sitting in math class. It’s your freshman year and you’re trying to pay attention, but you can’t. You keep trying to pull yourself towards solving equations, towards focus, but your mind jerks you in the opposite direction. You feel yourself spiralling deep into a pool of negative thoughts, the noise reminding you that you are useless and you don’t deserve to be here. You fail your next quiz. 

You go home to watch television and you see a character who is supposed to be just like you. Why is it so obvious? If people think you all look the same, how will we ever know who really needs help? How are people going to notice a smiley, bright person like you, when they only have a glimpse of a distorted image in their heads of what you’re supposed to look like? 

You are really close with one girl. She’s like a sister to you. She’s the person who’s there when no one else is. You do everything together, but you can tell you are starting to weigh her down. She can’t take the pressure of how you feel anymore. She can’t always be there for you because she has a life of her own as well, which you understand. And you grow apart, because your struggles were too much for her.

So you talk about it. It takes a while, but you find someone you trust and you tell them everything. Sometimes you can’t talk and so you paint instead, visually describing your mind to the person sitting in front of you. You used to dread your appointments but now you actually look forward to them. You’re getting better.

It’s taken a while for you to understand that you are worthy, just like everyone else. When you hear the buzzing starting to come back in the back of your brain, you tell it that you don’t deserve any less than the person sitting next to you. You’re not fully there yet, but you’re starting to learn what it all means. And so when someone else tells you that they are struggling, you tell them that you know it’s cheesy, but it gets better. That if you can get through this dark month or year – or however long it is – there are really good things coming for you. Tell someone. Believe in yourself. It gets better. That’s a promise.