Reflections

Introduction

For our reflections project, each student was required to write and record various projects that reflected on the way we think or something that we were passionate about. In our Digital Media class, we were required to make a short video using the Adobe application After Effects. The video was modeled after the KQED Perspective radio show. Each media class had a project for their Reflections unit. As I am in Film, I was required to make a short video essay modeled after my Personal Statement essay written in English class.

Personal Essay

For the Personal Essay assignment, I really wanted to emphasize something that was important and significant to me. I chose to focus on my family, how it has developed, and how I have had to learn and grow from them. Ultimately, we were required to reflect on who we are as people. Because my family dynamic has changed so much and led me to develop into a stronger person, I wanted to reflect on that process. I came to several realizations about the way I see the world as a result of my upbringing, some surprising and others not, and I feel as though this unit gave me a better understanding of myself through the creative process. Several drafting processes as well as brainstorming encouraged this reflection and internal analysis of my values.

     Rather than letting the musty air of the thrift store sour my experience, I allow the lost items to draw me in, piquing my interest as I explore the racks of unwashed, unused, and worn clothes. I see these items as forgotten treasures, and I give them a second chance by pairing unlikely items to make a unique collage. Business slacks with a graphic band tee? Perfect for a Thanksgiving dinner. Or maybe a leather coat with a pink summer dress? The best outfit for homecoming. The possibilities are endless.
My love of thrifting stemmed from necessity. As my mom raised me on her own, we needed to frequent second-hand stores for most of our clothing. I took this as a challenge to not wallow in our second-hand status, but embrace it. Whether I was shopping for school clothes or Easter dresses, Sunday school shoes or Halloween costumes, I made the best of what we had with my mom’s optimism and support.
     When I was 9, my mom met my stepdad, and our new journey as a household began. It was strange, because though I had longed for a father figure and conventional family my whole life, I had a very difficult time grappling with the addition to our household. I had been raised by many people: my mom’s best friends, my birth father’s family, and even my after-school care teachers. Suddenly, they were all gone from my life, replaced solely by a man I had known for less than a year. With a second income, we stopped shopping at thrift stores. Where most children would be excited for trendy, new clothes from department stores, I was confused and frustrated. Where was the creativity? The fun?
     I found myself being resentful of this newcomer. I did not understand my mom’s decision to share my emotions with my stepdad, or tell him secrets I thought remained confidential. In my mind, he was a threat to my mom’s and my relationship and to the community I had come to accept as family. My anger was hot and weighed on all of us like a storm cloud. And yet, as time passed, he became more part of our family, and I didn’t see him leaving anytime soon. He asked me about my day and my friends. He came to my school’s annual father-daughter dance, which included authentic 50s costumes and an embarrassing Dad Dance Off on stage. Together we carved pumpkins and made Christmas cinnamon rolls, some of the most important traditions of my childhood. My anger began to soften.
     Two years after becoming my stepdad, he proposed adopting me. His interest in adopting me expressed his interest in knowing me, and assuming emotional and relational responsibility for me, an idea that I had never thought of or considered possible. I began taking a look at myself, assessing my reluctance to change, and challenging it. It wasn’t wholly my stepdad’s responsibility, as I soon realized, to make our relationship work. I was able to see him as a father and give him, and myself, a second chance at the family we both wanted and deserved.
     After that, my new dad and I started talking more, breaking down unnecessary emotional barriers, and really getting to know one another. We attended family therapy sessions, where I learned to communicate positively and effectively. I found a friend and father in a once-stranger.
     We don’t look like we belong together, as he stands proudly five inches below me. But through Harry Potter movie marathons and rocky road ice cream binges, it’s clear that we’re more similar than either of us would admit. I know my dad probably wouldn’t appreciate my comparing our relationship to a thrift store outfit, but I see our bond mirrored in my love for creating outfits from second-hand, mismatched clothes. And, at least to me, those are always the most loved outfits.

Lyrical Essay 

Our focus throughout the unit was Claudia Rankine’s Citizen which explores being black in America. The unit centered around open discussions on identity and microaggression. The final portion of this unit required us to write an essay from the perspective of someone whose identity differs from our own. I made the decision to interview and write on a person that identifies as gender non-binary. This experience was incredibly beneficial to both of us, as they were able to be heard and share their story, and I was able to empathize and be more mindful of my words and actions. This unit challenged me to look honestly in the mirror at my own tendencies of assumption and think critically about issues I have never personally experienced, ultimately pushing me to grow not only as a student, but a person. Though I considered myself an ally before, this experience pushed me into wanting to be more involved. Rather than solely being aware of injustice, I was inspired to research, engage, and use my privilege in ways that others found helpful. Overall, I have gained the understanding that in order to help the world, I must put ourselves in others’ shoes.

Marisa Novotarski -Listener Lyric Essay

Perspective

In this section of our project, we were required to, again, reflect on who we are. We were challenged to write a short piece about something we are passionate about or something that we believe should be changed. After writing we recorded a speaking piece adapted from the writing. This audio file was edited using ProTools, a new application that specializes in audio production and editing. In this way, we were able to make our audio sound more natural and clean by removing harsh intonation and background distraction. Once the audio was perfected, we were required to create a short video using After Effects. We had to find images on the internet, edit them to the frame, and animate them to provide an aesthetically pleasing video. I chose to discuss education, as it is something I believe is a defining factor and catalyst for change.

 

Video Essay

In each of our media classes, we were required to produce different things. As a senior film student, I was required to record my personal essay and adapt it into video form. I used a Tascom recorder and ProTools to edit the audio. I also used Adobe Premiere Pro to edit the video and audio together. Editing included cutting audio and video, color correcting, and using cinematic techniques to produce a strong visual connection to the audio. I found this production process incredibly valuable as it refreshed the film skills I had for the new school year to begin. I remembered many techniques and details I had forgotten over summer break. I was also able to visually portray my personal essay, which I found incredibly fun.