Screenplay for “G.R.E.G.”

By Schaffy

MARK- guitar player (20’s)

CARL- singer (20’s)

Jessica- drummer (20’s)

Martin- bass player (20’s)

Announcer

Studio owner

We start the film as Mark is leaving his job at a local coffee shop. As he approaches his car, his friend, Carl, leaning his back against Marl’s car. Carl is playing with his red yoyo. Looking bored, his energy rises with enjoyment. Mark is exhausted from a very busy workday. It’s the afternoon, around 3:00.

CARL

(stops playing with yoyo)

Hey Mark, lets go and make your

destiny permanent. We need you and

your guitar.

MARK

(pulls out car keys)

Hold your horses until the race starts.

(Unlocks car)

I don’t even know how to tune any
instrument.

CARL

(approaches passenger door and opens)

You can learn that from anyone

on the band with the exception of me.

(both Carl and Mark get into the car)

MARK

(joking around)

Yea I know. I can only imagine

You using you voice. You can’t

even pick up a single string in

front of anyone without having

a single tremor in your hands.

CARL

(Has a little red on his face)

Very funny. Anyway, its how

to use it is what you need

to concentrate on right now.

(They start to drive off to close by music store. On they way there, they talk about how the band may be a huge success)

CARL

(moving his hands while he talks)

Just imagine what it would be like

when we all take those short walks

to the front of the stage. The only

thing that has to be done is to

practice, practice, PRACTICE.

MARK

Honestly, I think practicing is not

our problem. We sound good and feel

great. We need to schedule a

recording day. I know this guy who

can help us with that.

CARL

(starts to play with red yoyo again)

Well, then do that. We need this

shot. Who knows, we may even become

better then the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Yea, but just remember that

I’m the leader and star of the

group. I’m the one who sings

to the entire crowd.

MARK

I think the whole band knows

that. No one else can sing. I

mean can you imagine Greg

using his mad bass skills, yet

trying to sing? (Both release a

small chuckle) His sounds like

a dead cow.

CARL

(laughing hysterically)

A dead cow? That’s a new one

for him. Hey if Greg sounds like

that, then Jessica must sound like

a police siren.

Both Carl and Mark laugh hard and then start to daydream about the tremendous event. Mark doesn’t even pay attention to the road. As he starts to go at an intersection, another car goes across the intersection. Horn sounds. MAN rolls down windows and shouts.

MAN

(with flustered face)

WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING DUMBASS!!!!!!

Carl and Mark look at each others while Man leaves. Both laugh at what just happened. FADE OUT.

We now are in Carl basement, where three of the four band members are seen. JESSICA practices her drums in the corner, Mark plays with his guitar in the center and Carl

comes into the room.

JESSICA

(with great anticipation)

Man, where in the world is

Greg? He should have been

here more than 30 min. ago.

CARL

Forget about him for now, lets

start practicing for the studio.

They start to play, but after eight seconds, they stop. They all look at each other with the same “nasty taste in the mouth” face. Everyone stays silent until Mark starts to talk.

MARK

This is not good, guys. We

sound terrible without the

bass.

(puts his guitar down and goes

to the phone)
I’m going to call the recording

studio.

Right as he reaches for the phone, it rings. Mark answers the phone and talks with the person on the other line.

MARK

Yes?

(We do not here anything. Mark’s

face turns into an upset state.

He turns to the others.)

Guys, I have some bad news.

(pause)

Greg was in a car crash. He didn’t

survive.

Both Carl and Jessica now have shocked faces. Both are now sitting down, trying to take in the new information as quickly and painless way possible. FADE OUT.

We now find what’s left of the band entering the basement from Greg’s funeral. All have faces of disappointment. Carl now is confused. Its 4:30 pm.

CARL

(with worried face)

I can’t believe this.

(turning head around and

looking on the ground as if

he is searching for something. Walks around nervously.)

This can’t happen. How

could this have happened? Why

did this happen? Ah crap!!!

(has a little negativity in his voice)

How could he do this to us? We

were so frickin’ close. I was ready

to taste the sweet texture of fame.

MARK

It’s now Greg’s fault that this happened.

The guy cut him off. This was out of

chance and ignorance.

JESSICA

I wish we can do something for

Greg.

(pause)

Ahh, I know. Lets name the band after

him. We will be called the Great Red

Enterprise Giants.

CARL

Well, personally I think it is too

early to think about this, but lets

do it.

MARK

OK, but I have some bad news for

you guys. The recording studio will

shut down permanently this Friday.

CARL

(optimism comes to him all of a

sudden)

Well then, what the hell are we

waiting for? We must go on a

quest, like Link or Indiana

Jones. We cannot fail.

FADE OUT

We now find Mark and Jessica walking around with tons of sheets of paper. It’s around 10:00 am.

MARK

(Walks in front of the camera.)(V.O.)

Hey Jessica!! Put one on the telephone pole.

Jessica enters from stage left.

JESSICA

You mean this one?

MARK (v.o.)

Yea, on the corner so that everyone can see it.

Jessica staples a piece of paper on the pole reading

“ Bass player tryouts for the Great Red Enterprise Giants. TODAY AND ALL DAY ONLY. Come for the fame, stay with the band.

FADE OUT.

We are now in Carl’s basement again, where everything is et up as it was American Idol. It’s about 2:00 pm. A young athletic person enters with a bass.

MARK

OK man, what’s your name?

ATHLETIC PERSON

I’m Hubert sir.

JESSICA

Why are you here?

A different person takes place.

PERSON 2

To be famous, of course.

CARL

Well, lets hear you play then.

As person 2 plays, soundtrack of Red Hot Chili Peppers’ “Tell me Baby” starts to play. While it’s playing, we see new bass players and the band members start to show some boredom. Music stops with one guy playing. Mark interrupts the person.

MARK

Hey, aren’t you the person who

called us dumbasses at us at the

intersection?

MAN

Well, I may have. I was having a

bad day.

Bad Day starts to play. Three seconds into the song, Carl yells.

CARL

STOP THE MUSIC!!!!

(Music stops)

Ok, then why the hell are you

really here? You should be

trying to drive into a ditch.

Now get out.

MARK

(stands up)

NO WAIT!!!!!!!

CARL

What?!!

JESSICA

We don’t need to yell on this.

MARK

Dude, you may have been a complete

jerk to us at the intersection, but

you are a great bass player. I think

we have found our man.

CARL

You’ve got to be kiddin’ me. This guy

can’t play for his life.

JESSICA

The only reason why you are acting that

way is because he reminds you of Greg.

Both Mark and Carl look at Jessica.

MARK

Jess, that was low.

CARL

That’s it. I’m leaving.

Carl leaves the scene with all of his papers. A weird announcer speaks.

ANNOUNCER GUY (V.O.)

Well, even though Carl had a one

of the worst days of his life, they

may have found the answer in this

stranger.

JESSICA

WILL YOU BUD OUT?

GUY (V.O.)

Fine, I’ll leave you Jerk.

MARK

Too much craziness today. Anyway, what’s

your name man?

MAN

It’s Martin.

JESSICA

Well Martin, welcome to the band.

FADE OUT.

We now have everything cleaned up from the tryouts. Carl, still upset about Martin joining the band, sits at the corner. Mark, practicing with his guitar, gets ready to talk to the rest of the group. Jessica is located in the back with her drums. It’s about 6:30 pm.

MARK

(puts down his guitar)

Hey guys, I have some bad news

for you. Today is Wednesday and

the recording session is this

Friday. We have less than 48

hours to practice. So, what are

we waiting for? Lets get crackin’.

Martin enters the room. Carl gets flustered.

CARL

Welcome. You’re late.

MARTIN

(looks at Carl)

I know. Someone stole my gas.

CARL

Well, I don’t think crazy drivers

should have the privilege to drive.

MARTIN

(now approaching Carl)

You little son of a...

Mark and Jessica move quickly to get in between Martin and Carl. Martin backs off. Carl stays seated.

JESSICA

Will you guys stop? What’s the point

of forming a band if everyone hates

each other. That’s like trying to live

life while you hate yourself.

CARL

(lifts up head and looks at everyone)

Fine, but as long as everyone knows

that I’m the leader.

(Everyone responds with a quick and flustered Yes!)

Good. OK, lets practice.

We watch various scenes where the band starts to practice with each other. Carl plays tricks on Martin and vise versa.

Jessica gets caught looking at Mark. The clock runs through time. Soundtrack includes their own song. FADE OUT.

We now capture the group in the waiting room of the recording studio. Martin and Mark have their instruments, Jessica is spinning her drum sticks. Carl gargles with a glass of water at hand. All have anticipated faces. It’s 3:30 pm.

CARL

(spits water back into the glass)

Well guys, this is it. Lets make

this our best session yet.

(turns head to Martin)

And Martin, don’t screw up with

your solo.

Martin reacts by playing a segment of his solo on his bass.

MARTIN

I think I got it. Just make sure

you don’t…

The door opens off camera and we hear the voice of the recorder.

RECORDER (V.O.)

We’re ready for you guys. Just come

in and we can get this thing over with.

Everyone gets up and starts walking out stage left. FADE OUT.

We now see the band recording the end of their song. As soon as the band finishes up, the recorder comes out with a surprised and satisfying face.

RECORDER

You guys are too amazing. You need

to go public with this. You will

definitely become famous.

Mark/Carl looks at Jessica/Martin and they all celebrate by giving each other hugs.

CARL

Hey Martin, I just want to say I’m

sorry for treating you like crap.

MARTIN

It’s ok man. Besides I should say

sorry for putting the itching powder

on the front seat of your car.

Carl moves his head up and down and all around.

CARL

YOU BASTARD!!!!!!

Martin runs out of the room. Carl follows with clenched fists. Mark and Jessica look at the scene of action. They look at each other.

RECORDER

Hey dude, what do you want me to do

want me to do with this?

MARK

Give it to any recording company, see

if they can sponsor us.

RECORDER

(forms a smile)

Oh, I think they will.

Mark turns back to Jessica. They gaze into each other’s eyes. They both move their head towards each other. FADE OUT.

We now find Mark leaving his job. He gives his apron to the manager of the coffee shop and walks out. The entire band is crowding the. Mark unlocks the car and everyone gets in. They drive off to the Shoreline Amphitheater, where they get prepared to play.

ANNOUNCER GUY (V.O.)

There you have it. They stay together

for another five years before they all

decided to break apart. Martin gets a

job at the DMV as a driving instructor.

Carl tries to go solo, but ends up

failing with the first CD he releases.

He left the scene and nobody knows what

happened to him. Jessica goes to Europe

to learn about techno. She receives

about 20 awards within the next three

years with her awesome beats.

Greg’s his spirit protects everyone on

the highway in his home town by taking

the gas out of the cars. Mark ends

up settling down back in his home town

of Springfield, keeping in touch with

everyone. He will soon end up with Jess,

but that won’t happen for another five

years.

FADE OUT.

The band’s song plays while the credits role.

THE END.