Yeah, ok, you found me. Good for you! Welcome to my website one and all, I will be your tour guide, Mr. Burt Gummer, please fasten your seatbelts and let’s get this boat ride started shall we? Make sure all personal belongings and limbs remain inside of the boat especially when passing the rabid alligator sanctuary just up ahead, and make sure all alcohol (including aftershave and hair gel) is properly rubbed off before reaching the rabid FLAMING alligator sanctuary just after it. The following will not be repeated in any other language so if any passenger here speaks Spanish, Cantonese, or Malaysian feel free to repeat what I just said out loud. And here we go!