The purpose of the essay was to take one of our ten things wever learned in life and to create them into an informative metaphorical paragraph that illustrates a time in our life that shows one of the ten things we've learned in action.

For this assignment we created a podcast of our personal essay. We created this because it is more intereseting than just words on a piece of paper. We used Adobe Flash to create our flash podcasts.

I stand alone in my room, getting ready for the day. I walk over to my dresser. An array of masks are laid out in front of me. Various shapes, sizes, colors, emotions: while others are blank. I take my medication. Today, this acts as my mask. I choose the mask that shows no emotions: a blank stare. Although this mask shows nothing, it holds so much more. I place the mask on my face. I feel concealed, like a new person, shielded from the outside world. I can be who I want: no emotions to judge me, only the blank stare of my mask. I do not show my feelings, I walk along throughout the day with no one knowing that I struggle with ADHD and anxiety. The medication is designed to act like a disguise, so that no one recognizes my struggles. My mask doesn’t define me; it doesn’t characterize who I am or how I feel. Merely covering what I want to hide from the world, it does not fix who I am, but obscures me from reality. Like a mask, medications hide what we feel. Medications don’t fix; they conceal.

Today is the day. I wake up, get dressed, brush my teeth, eat breakfast - like I would do any other day. My mom drives me to school, and nothing is said between us. All we do is exchange fake grins and a simple good morning. I step out of the car onto the cold hard pavement as the brisk air hits my lips. I walk from class to class seeing all my “friends”. I hear everyone talking about different social events that happened over the weekend. My mom picks me up in her silver Honda Civic. I sit down on the warm fuzzy seats, I put on my seatbelt and hear the click of being safe in the car, but I do not go home; I’m going somewhere else. We drive for about 30 minutes. I hear the zipping cars go by and smell the air conditioner.

 I arrive at the Center for Developing Minds. The walls are menacing, but the room is inviting. I sit down on the rolling chair, which smells like a doctor’s office. I greet the doctor with a warm handshake, but I can feel his cold hands gripping mine. The cold walls of the room confine me; I feel them closing around me. He asks me about my day and what I’ve been experiencing. I go through many tests. Some test my memory, while others test my writing ability. Once the tests are over I go home. The routine of my everyday life continues, I wake up go to school, go to practice, come home, do homework, then fall asleep. This pattern remains unchanged for a week without any news of my test results. Finally, I go back to the center to go over my results. The doctor tells me I have anxiety and ADHD. I was given some medications to help “fix” these problems.

 The first day I took them, I felt kind of funny. My heart raced uncontrollably, I didn’t want to eat, and I couldn't feel any emotions, let alone control them. Gone were the feelings of anxiety and worry. For the first time I could focus in class, but with wearing this new mask of medication came a price. Weeks pass and my heart continues to race. I am required to wear a monitor because the doctor thinks something is wrong with my heart. I wear two stickers on my chest both cold and sticky to the touch. Wires connect the two to the white flashing box I wear around my neck as if it is a necklace. The cold white box touching the skin of my stomach gives me the chills. It beeps at me everytime is is recording, the flashing red light can be seen underneath my clothes. I have to wear it everywhere I go: whether it is volleyball, school, or just at home. After weeks of wearing the monitor I go back to the doctor. He takes me off the medications because of the effect it had on my heart. I take off my mask, and suddenly I can feel again. I don’t feel numb anymore. I’ve learned that I cannot rely on medications alone to fix everything in my life.

These medications merely masked my symptoms. With my mask removed, I can now confront my challenges head on. I have learned how to use strategies beyond medication, many of which derived from Eastern medicine, including mindfulness, neurofeedback, exercise and herbal supplements. None of these strategies mask my emotions, and they provide me with tools to overcome my learning challenges. Of these new strategies, mindfulness in particular helps me capture the essence of myself, without creating the illusion of a mask. Simple breathing techniques help me to find a quiet place in myself to calm my anxiety and focus my attention. With these new tools, I feel empowered to shatter my former masks and expose myself for who I really am. I feel confident that I can overcome any challenge that I face in life. I have shattered my former mask; medication no longer act as a concealer.